Dr Catherine
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4-7 years

I actually take her to the toilet when I get up to go myself (normally around 12/1am). There are occasions that she is wet at these times (after going to bed at 730pm). She doesn't wake up when she wets the bed which concerns me. Should I be worried at this age. I feel as though she is too lazy to get herself out of bed herself. I actually get her up in the mornings to go too (so she doesn't wet the bed). Am I approaching this the wrong way by "taking" her to the toilet?

Firstly, the fact that your daughter experiences sporadic bedwetting is completely normal with at least 1 in 7 children continuing to do this by the time they start school. The fact that she is more often dry than wet is a really good indicator that this is something she will be able to grow out of on her own. In terms of management, while some parents prefer to manage children’s bedwetting by waking them or lifting them to the toilet throughout the nigh, this may reduce the number of wet beds you have to change (and that is certainly a big positive) it does not help train the bladder nor does it teach children to learn to wake on their own. Parents typically do this just before they themselves go to bed, at this time of night the bladder will probably be only half full, or your daughter will still be half asleep. Children who have achieved nighttime continence are either able to wake-up independently in response to a full-bladder or have developed the bladder capacity to store urine until morning. When you wake her or carry her to the toilet she does not get the chance to get used to these signals nor does her bladder have the opportunity to stretch and develop. If however you do find this approach works for you and you would like to continue, I would recommend varying the times that you do this so to avoid conditioning her body into needing to empty at the same time each night. Very few children wet the bed out of laziness, if you think she may not be getting up because she is scared, often a small nightlight will help. All the best! Regards, Dr Cathrine