A 7-9 year old bedwetting story

Hi my daughter became dry at the usual 2.5/3 years of age, but when she was about 6.5 her dad left us due to his drinking problems, this began a spiral that we haven't finished yet. Bedwetting and behavioral problems started, many sessions with councilors and pediatricians later we are no closer to a resolve. Bedwetting is almost every night and luckily she only weighs 22kg so I can buy nappies, Drynites are great. Behaviorally she is now under a psychologist for ODD which is not an illness, its a defiance issue due to life's problems that she cannot control, I am the only person she feels secure with so she takes everything out on me, this includes throwing things, swearing and screaming at me and her younger brother on an almost daily basis. Its heartbreaking but I cannot find the button to turn it off, Her dad is still in our life but abandoned them with a please no contact text 6 weeks ago - on her 9th birthday! There was a bedwetting alarm available through medicare but 3 months before our app, they discontinued the service in Moreton island area (qld). Have tried every other option on the net and by professionals, so with specialists and pediatrician appointments I battle on until the switch to be "good" and "normal" switches on. The worst part is that she is a gifted child so therefore even more switched on about events than other young children would be/should be. Next time you watch the opening credits to super nanny, think of me!!!